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    Thursday
    Apr232020

    The Cavern Under the "Hutch"

     

      

     

    Murphy looked me in the eyes, grabbed the lapels of my school uniform jacket and pleaded, “You will not believe what I am about to show you!” Some afternoons I spent at Michael Murphy’s home after school until my Mom would pick me up. In the early sixties latch-key kids like us had free range to do just about anything our little hearts desired. Thankfully for all concerned, our twelve year-old hearts usually desired something involving a ball and speed.

                Why this day was different, I will never know but Murphy was poised to usher me into a ritual of manhood that most never experience – the full meaning of which I was not to even approach until almost a half a century later.

                Murph’s house stood at the end of Mohegan Place, a sleepy north New Rochelle street that cul-de-sac’d at the Hutchinson River Parkway. Leave It To Beaver homes on half acres lined the street and we played hardball catch without a thought of traffic bothering us. But that got old quickly. So when he invited me on a mysterious journey with him, I jumped at the chance.

                “So, where’re we going?”

                “Not far. But it’s underground. Right here in our neighborhood.” Everything Murphy said about this was with emphasis. His eyes enlarged. His mouth opened wide. His cheeks pulled back and his arms flailed.

                “Wow. Let’s go.”

                “OK, but you have to swear – swear that you will not breathe a word of this to any soul.” This was unlike my happy-go-lucky friend, Michael C. Murphy, and that got my full attention. He wasn’t the guy to take much too seriously. Oh, he was a good student and all, that but his light-heartedness was what attracted me originally. So all this swearing on a stack of Bibles was out of character.

                I held the three fingers of my right hand up in the well-known Scout sign. “All right,” I relented. “I swear. Now, can we go?” His eyes widened with a big tight-lipped smile.

                “Follow me.” We dropped our mitts on the lawn and off we went. “Gotta sneak through the Oliver’s back yard but they’re not home.” We darted down their driveway, past patio furniture out in the back and then through the hedges at the perimeter. We were heading toward the unseen parkway. I could hear the traffic now as we worked our way through the underbrush and out onto a bridle path, now named the Leatherstocking Trail. Murphy would glance happily over his shoulder periodically, in a “You are going to love this” look.

                Almost arbitrarily he stopped, looked the overgrowth up and down the highway side of the trail and stepped into a raspberry patch. “Are you kidding me, Daniel Boone?” I did my best to avoid the berry’s prickers but thankfully, it didn’t last long.  “There,” he barked. “Up ahead.”

                As the brush thinned a round culvert appeared, maybe six feet in diameter. We didn’t know then but the original Hutch ran right over it. Construction was started in 1921 and finished just before we entered World War Two. We ducked into the tunnel, careful not to get our feet wet on the trickling steam bed. “Almost there,” Murphy’s voice echoed through the old brick conduit. I could see he was straightening up and soon we were through. “Enter!” His voice echoed.

                I stepped onto bed of gravel and trap rock that was much newer than the mossy stuff that lined the old culvert. This was recently built, I thought. As I stood up straight I felt the large room expand in a sublime way. We both were a little giddy from it.  We had entered into a huge cavern, the basement of a new overpass of the parkway, that was easily thirty feet high. With the width of the four lanes above, it extended north to south maybe sixty feet between the arches that supported the road above. A big cement and gravel room – with reverberation to justify its importance.

    “Cassone, I give you…” like a barker Murphy extended his right arm upward as he pointed to the far arched-wall, “…Matilda!”

                I was speechless. A twelve-year old doesn’t see things like this often and I knew intuitively that this was a special moment. For high on the southern wall of the gigantic concrete cavern was a crude, charcoal drawing of a voluptuous naked woman. And it was quite anatomically correct.  “Well?” My guide was intruding on my enjoyment but I did have to acknowledge him.

                “Uh, it…sure…is…” I stuttered, not knowing how to offer my feedback. “…beautiful.”

                “Beautiful?” Murphy was taken aback and clearly not getting the response he was looking for. “Of course she’s beautiful. That’s why I brought you here, dickhead.”

                “Yeah, of course.” Without taking my eyes of her, I ventured a pertinent question. “So, who else knows about this place?”

                He looked at me with all the earnestness he could muster and said very seriously, “You. Me. And the guy who drew her.” Proudly Murphy added, “I call her…Matilda.”

                “She” didn’t need a name in my book but that was Murph all over. And my obligatory “Why Matilda, Murph?”

                “Oh, I don’t know really. She struck me as a Matilda.”

                I got back to gazing. She was a fifteen foot-high outlined young woman with her arms proudly on her hips, daring you to look at her. Being twelve, all I could focus on were her breasts and quite bushy “lower area”. Years later I would recall her hair style, a Donna Reed flip. And her sardonic smile. Yes. Matilda was very sure of herself. But the detail of her nipples kept my eyes locked on this work of art.

                And it surely was a true work of art. The cave drawings of Lascaux in France. Giotto’s frescoes. Michelangelo’s Sistine Chapel. Why, even Keith Haring’s grafitti. Matilda was right up there with them. It spoke to me, in all my naiveté, with the power of any of the world’s great art. One man had ventured in to this secluded, almost hidden, place and etched upon the cave his experience with Woman. And it was good. And those nipples - they were so erect. “Is that how they look, Murph? The nipples?”

                Now Murphy hadn’t seen a real naked girl since his Mom breast-fed him but I let him be the “expert” and teach the un-informed, little old me. “Why, sure. Of course, but they are much pinker.”

                Like those paintings in old English castles where the eyes follow you where ever you go in the room, Matilda’s gaze had a grip on us. This Colossus Of New Rochelle would guard over us and we felt safe with mother Matilda.

                On our hike back we both said nothing, except repeating our vows to never reveal any of what just happened. I reveal it now, Murph, and I am sorry to break my word. But it occurred to me recently when a good friend’s ten year old had stumbled upon a porn site while doing his homework on his Mom’s desktop. It shook the poor unsuspecting kid to the core. He didn’t have the good fortune to be ushered slowly into the magnificent world of human sexuality with a cave drawing, a guide and an active imagination like I did. The world is different now. My parents said that to me and I am sure my grandchildren will say it to theirs.

                So I leave you all with this tale of a twelve year-old’s adventure in a Father Knows Best world where kids like us could wander off into the woods and find a Matilda, hidden in plain sight, beneath the dangers of the world rolling on constantly above. And return from the journey a couple of steps closer to becoming a man.

     

     

    From a Tex Avery cartoon, 1953

     

     

    © 2018 Chris Cassone

    Wednesday
    Jan272016

    It's FREEZING out!

    How many times have you heard that? Come to LA and hear it when the temps dip into the low 50's. It's enough to make a born-and-bred New Yorker's blood boil. Especially since last winter when I returned to my Putnam County cabin for a month, I went snowshoeing in Zero degrees temps and got minor frostbite on my toes (they call it frost nip.) 


    I have taken the uber-cold for granted for too long. Everyone should have to read this article from Outside Magazine: "As s Freezing Persons Recollects The Snow - First Chill - Then Stupor - Then Letting Go."

    Then there's the story of heavy metal singer, Terje Bakken, who tried walking to his parents cabin but got caught in a Norweigian snowstorm and was found frozen three days later.

    But I knew all this. Jack London told me in "To Build A Fire."

     

    Friday
    Jan222016

    Snowmageddon - Look A Squirrel!

    We've seen this movie before. This was the Arrivals board at Jet Blue in JFK, almost a year ago to the day (Jan 26):

    That's my flight, #124 from LA, one of the three that got into JFK at the positively deathly hour of 4:16 PM during the last Snowmageddon. It was a race against time for me, from getting a seat on the flight to the flight even taking off (JFK stopped all flights in after ours.) But the fun began as we all watched our TV's that carried the local NY news. The city and most of the North East was apoplectic with this "storm." Runs on supplies, "Gotta Get Milk and Bread!" But this was a new level. People were banned from the streets in NYC. No cars and stay inside was deBlasio's command. To enforce that, he just down the subway system.

    Think about that. The engine of NYC, its subways, was turned off. All of those people who worked on it and the millions who work by using it - all were sent home. Gov. Cuomo called out the National Guard - before the first snowflake fell. I luckily got one of the last seats on the Airporter bus to Grand Central (cabs were non-existant) and the huge station was sublime in its eerie solitude. Literally, there were maybe ten people and ten more armed soldiers in the almost acre-sized concourse.

    Then the last, very last train, north was leaving and that took about 20 of us into Westchester. By the time I got to Putnam County and the last stop, there was still no snow but cars were off the road like they were expecting an asteroid to hit. My good friend, John, picked me up and took me to the A&P for some essentials. The store was just about to close and the shelves were picked cleads as if looters had just ransacked them.

    So I made it to the cabin and hunlered down with a large pile of wood for my fire, filled the tub up with water and got the candles out.

    For nothing. Oh, maybe 4 inches.

    And we keep falling for it. The news shows have those "Breaking News" updates with the special logos and theme music. "Storm Watch 2016!" 

    The forecast for the tri-state NY area is 2-8 inches. When did that ever translate into a blizzard? I thought, minimum, a blizzard had to be a foot. No, the entire Northeast is falling for it again, hook, line and sinker. 

    Of course the conspiracy theorists say that this is a) to gin up the phony climate debate, b) to keep the public rubes' minds off the big news that is happening (economy, ISIS, Congress pushing through a bill) or c) a martial law muscle flex, to move the troops to see how they fare.

    So stock up on your comfort food, download all those Netflix episodes and fill your bathtub. You'll have nothing to do. Not even shovel.

     

    Recorded during the last Snowmagedden, on a Tascam DR1, in my kitchen, waiting fo rthe strom of the century:

    Before The Big One Hits 

    Flying in to JFK if weather permits, somewhere in the clouds above Kentucky.

    Trying to make it in before the Big One hits and hoping that our pilot, he gets lucky.

    All the TV stations they’re on highest alert. Don’t change the channel or you might get hurt

    They say the snow will be so deep, we might loose civil order

     

    The weatherman said you won’t believe your eyes.

    It’s a storm of unprecedented strength and size

    Better hide your kids and hoard your supplies.

    The whole East Coast seems to be losing its mind

    With tales of snowfall that never quits

    I just want to make it home….before the Big One hits.

     

    We made Grand Central – not a soul in sight.  And the wind was barely even blowing.

    The mayor said “I want you off the street at night.” And it was hardly even snowing.

    They’re closing the bridges and the subway too

    It’s what every other red-blooded leader would do. Cover your ass and cover your pension

    The governor is calling out the National Guard, but telling us “Don’t loose control.”

    I think I’ll take my chances with my Saint Bernard and his whiskey.

    Everyone on television’s losing their minds with every angle that this story permits

    I just want to make it home….before the Big One hits.

     

    I’ll get the last train out heading North somewhere.

    I’ll make it home with barely minutes to spare.

    Where the drifts will be so high, I might expire

    I won’t bother buying milk or bread.

    The shelves’ll be picked clean by the mob instead

    It’s just me and the dog, and his cask, by the fire.

     

    The weatherman said you won’t believe your eyes.

    It’s a storm of unprecedented strength and size

    Better hide your kids and hoard your supplies.

    The whole East Coast seems to be losing its mind

    As we fall for this story  time after time

    I just want to make it home….before the Big One hits.

     

    ©2016 Cassongs Music

    Saturday
    Nov142015

    The Tiger Is Killing Us

    There is a tiger on the outskirts of town and he is eating us, one by one. Each night we hear the screams of another victim, a neighbor, a friend, but always a faceless someone. They are quick to clean up the “mess” lest any panic ensue. But we all know what is happening.

    The tiger is killing us, one by one.

    After each attack the mayor appears and he urges calm. “We are not certain it is a tiger. Let us not cast fear upon the tiger population.” (Does this man live in the same town? Does he not hear the same screams? See the same blood stains? Notice our decreasing numbers?)

    “But tigers are a wonderful species. We must celebrate them for their tiger-ness.” And then, the kicker, he announced, “ We will be bringing in tiger cubs to all the neighborhoods and they shall live among us and we can all get along then. And you shall all see that tigers are a good species, even if there is one bad one here or there.”

    Jones and the local hunters gathered at the town square and formed a posse, of sorts. “We must stop this madness. Come with us to hunt the tiger.” As it headed to the forest, the hunting party was met with force by the local militia and disbanded.

    “To show our tiger friends that we mean them no harm, the authorities will go house to house to collect all guns.” After they took our shotgun and pistols, the sheriff and his men were heading down the street to the next home when we heard that sound again. As we looked up to hear the gurgling from the woods line, a deputy reached down to scratch behind the ears of a little frolicking cub. “Cute little guy,” he said.

    The tiger is killing us, one by one.

     

     

     

     

    “We have before us an ordeal of the most grievous kind. We have before us many, many long months of struggle and of suffering. You ask, what is our policy? I will say: It is to wage war, by sea, land, and air, with all our might and with all the strength that God can give us; to wage war against a monstrous tyranny never surpassed in the dark, lamentable catalogue of human crime. That is our policy. You ask, what is our aim? I can answer in one word: It is victory, victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory, however long and hard the road may be.”

    Winston Churchill 

     

     

     


    Friday
    Oct042013

    Shutdown Insantity Goes Nuclear

    Lake, that is. Nuclear Lake is a personl favorite spot to run in the woods. The Appalachain Train runs through it in western Pawling, NY. I arrived yesterday to this announcement taped to the trailhead kiosk.

    Yea, right.

    But the news is...I am working on a story about Nuclear Lake with the plutonium accident of 1972 to figure in the plot.  Love this place, even if there are mutans in the woods.